He Said Goodbye
by Ryuko-chan
Summary: My first Slayers Fic. Zel's got to go. He doesn't fit in there. But what about Lina? (Moderate Zel/Lina-ness)


He said Goodbye  
  
yami no yume. dreams of darkness  
  
He swiped, sword in hand.  
  
"Strong," he said. He turned, feinting and shadow boxing with himself.  
  
"Got to be strong!" he shouted. Suddenly, a bright red light flashed behind him.. He screamed. The rasping, sandpaper-like feeling, the burning on his skin, the sight, the thought, the pain.  
  
Zelgadis sat up, panting. He stood, walking away from the camp he had made with Lina, Amelia, and Gourry. He rubbed his hands over his face, which he knew should be sweaty, but wasn't. Grunting with frustration, he slammed his fists into a nearby tree. The tree shook, and indents appeared where his hands had hit, but nothing else happened. He sat down on the dirt ground.  
  
"I can't even feel pain anymore." He said softly to himself, "Probably won't be long before I can't feel anything." He looked down, sweeping lavender hair covering his eyes. A fleeting sparkle fell from his face.  
  
"At least I can still cry." He thought, "That dream. It has been haunting me forever. And now.. Now Rezo is dead. What if there is no cure?" He looked at his carefully gloved hands, and slipped off one of the gloves. He traced the vaguely green stones on the back of his hand, then put the glove back on. He glanced over at Lina and Amelia, sleeping still. He smiled ruefully.  
  
"At least I know, someone can accept me for the way I am. Though that may even be not enough. I never thought, even at first, that I could live a normal life and fall.. But I hoped. But I, I can't live like this anymore. And," He added bitterly, "I can't die like this." At least not easily. His eyes flicked to Gourry's sword of light. "But if I wanted to do that, I could just do it without fanfare," He thought, staring at his hand, "All I have to do is. Source of all power, light which burns beyond crimson. But no, they would die too." He thought.  
  
"A coward's escape." He said out loud, "Not my style," He grimaced, "I ought to just leave. Yeah. I'll leave." He glanced over at Lina's sleeping body, and sighed. She mumbled in her sleep. He leaned a bit closer to hear.  
  
"Gourry.." She was saying. Zel sighed. He turned around, knowing that he would have to face the music someday. He just didn't want to have to face it today. He paused, turning. He got up, turning around. Then he balked. Right in his face, or as close as her stature would permit her to reach, was Lina. She gave him her archetypal neko smile.  
  
"Leaving, are we?" she asked the wide-eyed chimera. He closed his mouth.  
  
"Maybe." He said. She noted the tone of his voice, somehow she seemed really in tune with that.  
  
"Why, Zel?" she asked. He turned away.  
  
"That's just the way I am," he said. She balked.  
  
"Oh, is it that again." she said. He turned to face her, eyes a pair of empty holes in his face.  
  
"You don't understand," he accused her harshly. She frowned faintly.  
  
"I understand that you are getting all worked up about something none of us cares about," she said similarly harshly. Zel looked at her.  
  
"You don't know about him," he intoned. She looked at him with disbelief.  
  
"Gourry?" she asked incredulously, "Believe me, if he had something to say, nothing up here would have stopped him," she finished, pointing to her own head. She sighed, "And you know Amelia doesn't care." She said. He shook it off.  
  
"Perhaps." He said, "That doesn't matter." He finished, waving his hand, "All that really matters is the fact that I can't stay here." He said, looking down. Lina looked hurt.  
  
"Maybe that's true, Zel. Or maybe you just can't stay where someone will accept you with no reason." She said softly. He jolted, looking at her with wide eyes. Then he growled.  
  
"You can't even attempt to understand." He said. He knew she couldn't. And that she shouldn't.  
  
"Maybe I shouldn't, but I do." She said softly. Zel looked down, then up to the sky. Anything to avoid that look in her eyes. That look that said, 'Why don't you trust us, why can't you let go?' but he knew, it would be a while. Besides, he couldn't trust anyone anymore. It was like a wall, that kept him from being hurt, though the wall hurt more than the threat. He brushed his cape out behind him, growling softly. Then he smiled, a tad bitterly.  
  
"You just love to put me in that position, ne?" he said. Lina winked, back to her old self again..  
  
"Oh, Zel, you know you don't want to leave." She said, smiling. He turned.  
  
"You're right, I don't, but, I know I will. Because I have to." He looked at her, eyes flashing under lilac bangs. He smiled faintly, "That's just the way I am." He finished. Lina sighed. His tone had changed, and Lina knew he wasn't talking about the curse any more. He was talking about something else, something vastly different.  
  
"You know we're your friends." She said. He laughed softly.  
  
"I never challenged that." He said. He waved a hand, "Goodbye Lina, you and Gourry can be very happy together." He said. Lina was taken aback. She got mad.  
  
"Gourry and. NANI??? What are you talking about?" she shouted. Zel smiled ruefully.  
  
"Yet another thing that I can see and you refuse to." He said. He walked off into the night, footsteps proceeding on the dusty path. Lina stared after him, conscious of an extreme loss. Not that she ever had whatever it was in the first place. Overhead, a bird crowed. Amelia sat up, frightened.  
  
"MISS LINA!" she shouted breathlessly. Lina glanced back at her.  
  
"Nani, Amelia?" she said. Amelia's eyes were wide with fright.  
  
"I had a kowai dream." she said. She looked around, "Where's Mr. Zelgadis?" she asked. Lina sighed.  
  
"You know Zel." she said. Amelia frowned.  
  
"He's gone? Just when we were all together??" she said. Lina nodded. She looked down. Something, something about his tone spoke volumes to her. Something about what he said told her he was yearning. For something he knew he couldn't have. It was hopeless, Lina knew. She knew she was yearning too. She glanced over at Gourry. Boxed in. No escape. And yet, if things had been different. But they weren't. And she had lost. Amelia looked at Lina, worried.  
  
"What did he say, Miss Lina?" Amelia asked. Lina smiled faintly.  
  
"He said goodbye." She said, tears in her eyes, "Amelia, he said goodbye." 


End file.
